B is for Bedroom

Warmer weather has arrived and my unemployed status has brought me back to my natural homeostasis, which is borderline insomniac. This means there is plenty of time, motive, impetus and opportunity to contemplate, once again, the state of our boudoir. While lying there fast awake and sweating, I look around and ponder a change to our environment.

Let it be noted that we have the air conditioning unit on about 353 days of the year (it’s only off in a snowstorm or power outage), blowing across our legs in the present iteration of the room. We are very lucky in that we have each found, in our other half, one who also likes the same temperatures. What we have not managed is finding compatibility regarding sleeping position.

From img.blu-raydefinition.com

Lucy Ricardo: [Ricky wants the window closed] A little air’s not going to hurt you, you hothouse plant.

Unlike most people, I imagine, I am most comfortable facing into the room, with my back to the door, and, since I lived here alone for 5 or 6 years before he moved in, that is my spot. When I go into the bedroom to watch TV, read, escape the noise, I climb onto the bed (literally, it is above my waist and also has a topper on it, so I’m like the Princess and the Pea {Did she have a name?}), stretching my 61 inches (sounds taller than 5’1) across the top half and enjoying the peace and space.

Here are the options to consider. None really work, but I can’t stop thinking about it, regardless of feasibility.

Switching Sides Pro: If we keep the bed in its current position and just switch sides, I will get the benefit of feeling the cool air we are pumping out. On a given night, John and all of his pillows are virtually sucking up all the air. All that nice flowing paid air is hitting a barrier before it gets to me. I end up with his body heat, the pillow’s warmth, and the obnoxious tease of hearing the cold air, but not receiving any. Switching sides would be a win, right? Wrong. See “final verdict” below.

Switching Sides Con: We would need to reconfigure the whole room just for me to switch sides. I know that seems ridiculous to you, dear reader, but it is true. There is a small wooden trunk on and surrounding which is a lot of stuff  on that side of the room. My sweetie uses the very edge of the trunk to balance his charging cell phone, and he’s happy with that. Also, he is unbelievably graceful and is not consumed by thoughts of tripping, falling and bumping his way to the bathroom from that side in the middle of the night. I charge my phone and my iPad, have books, a lamp, and all sorts of flotsam and jetsam on my night table and I would need all that to accompany my body on its clumsy trip to the left side of the room.

Room-rearrangement Pro: None, really. Lots of work for what won’t be a good solution. See “con” below.

Room-rearrangement Con: It’s a lot of work for little reward. The way the room is situated makes any other configuration than the one we have very awkward. Imagine walking through your bedroom door, but still feeling as if you are in the hallway that led to it. The door opens out with the closet behind it, then there is some wall space, and then you cross into the bedroom itself. The ceiling is lower in this first area, and the width of it matches the hallway. When you get into the bedroom proper, the ceiling is higher and the space is your normal sort of square room that fits a full/queen bed and a few dressers. The windows are placed in a haphazard way that looks “off” just standing in an empty room. When you add furniture and try to figure out the best arrangement, it really gets cumbersome, even with only two windows. The window on the far wall (with the AC) is almost centered in the room, so when you try to put the bed across the room with the headboard on either the east or west wall (these are just guesses for the sake of illustration, I’m a city/indoors-y girl and have no idea which direction is which) it will be facing your legs and feet. We could flip the bed to the east wall in a mirror image of the way we have it now, but the window on that wall is placed so that almost half of the headboard would be blocking it. To clear the window, the bed would practically be against the wall on one side, and we are about 20 years too late for a dormitory setup. We can’t put the bed on the north wall, and if we put it on the south wall, there won’t be sufficient room around the bed, because the south wall has the entrance taking up a quarter of it.

Final Verdict:  Changing the bedroom is pretty much out of the question. If I stored and/or threw away most of our belongings that live in the bedroom, we could switch sides. We are presently at odds about this novel idea, because John isn’t having it. He is the master of his side and says he is uncomfortable whenever he even temporarily uses mine.

I’ve made my bed, and now I have to lie in it.

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4 thoughts on “B is for Bedroom

  1. You need some kind of air-scooping funnel device that will redirect the air over him and his pillow fortress and onto you. Funny, funny post…thanks for making me laugh!

    Like

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