Knee-slapping-ly Funny

In my 40 years (not that I remember the first couple, but you know what I mean), I have never slapped my own knee with laughter. I’ve slapped the floor, the chair, the desk or what have you, and I have definitely slapped all sorts of body parts belonging to whichever unfortunate soul happens to be sitting next to me when the hysterics hit.

I slapped my own knee (twice!) today after reading a Pinterest pin entitled “15 Funniest Things People Have Said in Their Sleep”. Now, maybe my position on the couch resulted in prime knee-slapping position, maybe a weird mood hit me, or maybe I had been laughing a lot about the previous seven on the list before I got to the best one, I don’t know. I was so stunned by this action, I laughed some more!

Okay, here it is, and, being new to this blogging thing, please forgive me for re-typing it, as I don’t know how to put a pin on here yet. I’ve pinned a whole bunch of Blogging Tips articles to read, but have not done so yet. I imagine I need to download the pin, and come here and click “Add Media”, but I don’t know the rules and fine points. In the interest of getting today’s blog out on time (because I’m holding myself to a schedule), here goes:

Funniest Things People Have Said in Their Sleep Number 8. I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife struggling to get out of bed. I asked her what was going on, and she replied with “I need to press the button!” I could tell she was still half-asleep, so I said “Come back to bed, I already pressed the button for you.” She then, in a very condescending tone, said “You don’t even know how.”

This is funny to me on so many levels.

I have said crazy things in my sleep, and I’m usually a bit…erm…not nice, when awake, so my fiancé, my college roommate, my best friend and my sister all have stories of things I’ve said to them over the years. I sleepwalk as well, so usually the funny things I say are in answer to the question “What the hell are you doing?!” which, actually, may account for some of my nastiness. A good 99% of the time, my nocturnal walks are to do something that I was thinking of doing before going to sleep. My old roomie can recount many nights where she found me in the bathroom taking Nyquil to help me sleep, while asleep. I also used to visit my college boyfriend who lived on the floor below ours, and two rooms over, asleep. It’s a wonder my clumsy-when-wide-awake self didn’t break my neck on those polished concrete stairs. Most of the time, nowadays, I just get a drink, lock the front door, or go to the bathroom. Nothing too funny to see here, move along. But these statements support my theory of why this was so funny it resulted in a knee slap.

Reason two: I can so imagine saying what she said. I get it. This conversation could easily have taken place in my bedroom, had I ever had a dream about a button that needed pressing. The man telling the story seems a lot like John, and the wife definitely seems like me. Definitely contributes to the “so funny I needed to exert excess energy onto my own person” theory.

The last and final reason why those slaps took place is the very fact that so many things in my life seem to be changing this year. Maybe slapping my knee while laughing is going to be one of my quirks (much better than a snort!). I swear, and this is no joke, I was teasing before my birthday that my 40th birthday present from fate was going to be the gracefulness I left behind when all this stuff was being handed out at birth (must have dropped it trying to carry all the smart and funny). My concept is that I’m going to spend my later years flitting about like a ballerina. But, it’s pretty true so far. Now, I’m not saying miracles have been wrought, I’m definitely still me (See my post from Monday, It was a good day), but I am, in fact, more graceful. For every ten things that would usually result in a spastic episode, I’m handling four or more of them with grace.

I think I even slapped my knee gracefully. Although perhaps I was aiming for the couch, and this whole post is for naught.


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